Modern pornography has manipulated society into a clash of irresistible pleasure and moral dilemma. The problem is there is no problem with porn in itself. Rather, in the way society intakes it.
The overall concern lies in how the youth is developing their perspective of sex through porn. However, the promiscuous behavior it evokes isn’t what we should worry about. Instead, we should look into the emotion that drives this promiscuity. Though it may be a dying idea, the feelings of lovemaking are what we’re missing through modern pornography.
The goal of this blog is to clear up that emotion porn gives us. To understand why it makes us feel so compulsive. Differentiating the good and bad of this compulsivity. And to bring a new idea to love making. An idea I could only imagine through watching pornography.
I’d like to begin with those creating the content. Generally, the people behind porn are fairly shunned off from society. We consider their work not only too easy but also a disgrace.
Yet, I’d disagree with this statement. Admittedly, the average fella doesn’t have the willpower to have the kind of sex porn stars are having. For one, the acts usually last way longer than your Friday night hook up. Besides the fact that performers are required to go for such great lengths of time, they also have to stop and start on cue with the director. This takes much out of the freedom in sex.
Secondly, these people are having sex for the camera, not for themselves. Therefore, they must get themselves into positions that can be rather uncomfortable and even unenjoyable. This discomfort, all the cuts and actions, and the long amount of sexual energy all combined seems like a pretty tough gig I, personally, couldn’t handle.
On top of all that, we must remember that porn stars are getting themselves into a career they know most people won’t accept. This notion that the “outside world” doesn’t agree with their work choice is a constant factor each performer must either proudly accept or learn to ignore. Frankly, many of us couldn’t hold that sort of mindset.
This is all enough reasoning for me to believe that being a porn star isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. With that being said, there’s still one major factor that will make people look down upon porn stars. Ironically, many are jealous of the fact that they’ll never have this sort of sex themselves. For the matter, even I’ve held my envy.
This jealousy is fueled by a few explanations:
- We lack the confidence to make this sex happen.
- Our moral code would never throw us into such wild predicaments.
- We don’t know how to have this type of sex with the person (or people) we’re already having sex with.
These jealousies tend to be the forceful stigma behind society’s views on porn. And, if you can seriously consider it, the whole stigma is rather childish. If our progressing world can’t get over the versatile sex certain people are having (for our viewing pleasure), then how will anyone progress in their own sex lives.
It’s easy to point your finger at someone else when you’re just ashamed of your own sexual ambition.
The Effects on Society
Let’s get the obvious out of the way. Porn is, without a doubt, making a lot of people more sexually compulsive.
Though this isn’t necessarily good, it’s not really bad either. Ignoring reproduction, at the end of the day, sex is nothing more than pleasure. How much of that pleasure we decide to consume is ultimately up to us, just like everything else we consume. With that, we shouldn’t blame porn for our individual impulsive decisions. Even though it can be said that porn invokes these compulsions, it still remains our decision to give into it.
Therefore, the only reason society is sexually shaping itself the way it is is because, ultimately, this is what people want. And this is where that clash I mentioned comes into play. Not everyone wants this sort of sex.
Some might feel obligated to live in an overly sexual society. This is a fair argument only because each of our sex drives greatly differ. Some of us want a lot, some of us want it every so often, and then there’s the few who want none at all. However, one aspect of all this remains consistent. We all still hold the natural urges of sex. The way we control those urges is what varies.
Still, there remains one more issue in terms of porn’s effects on society. In my introduction, I said, “the overall concern lies in how the youth is developing their perspective on sex through porn.” I believe this is what we should look into. Some may say there is no solution considering there’s no way to get rid of the easy access to adult entertainment. However, people of that age are going to seek out sex regardless of porn or not.
The only difference is that with porn, they will be fueling this “seek out” to further extents. I believe many parents disrespect porn because of the impulsive behavior it’s causing in their children. Yet, what many parents are ignoring, is the direction this compulsivity will lead.
It’s going to sound cliche, however, we should be sending teens in the direction of lovemaking.
Though the good majority of us don’t have the willpower to have porn sex, that’s not to say we shouldn’t fuel the other emotions sex has to offer. If we don’t, we’re only digging a deeper void into our own sex lives. A void that we will inevitably attempt to fill with pornography. If we take this route, it will lead us and future generations into having less satisfying sex.
I believe these are the undiscussed problems regarding pornography. We spend so much time degrading porn stars when we should be looking into how they can help our society.
My Philosophy on These Emotions
The last point I’d like to make reflects on everything I’ve just covered. To recall, pornography makes us much more sexually compulsive. The concern lies in how the youth will handle this compulsivity. Where we should lead them is in a direction that consists of pornography helping us discover the concept of lovemaking.
But how is this done? With the violent images porn portrays and the promiscuous behavior it provokes, how can one watch such material and think about love? Given, I’ve had my fair share of denial in terms of romance. Just as any young adult might.
However, I’d like to bring to light a new idea towards romance.
I have been told by fellow millennials that women no longer seek the gentle affection romance seems to produce. I disagreed with them. Bringing to point that the classical sense of romance may not completely exist, but that’s not to say it isn’t progressing. Sure, porn may have twisted what this classical sense once was. Yet, in order to progress with the overabundance of adult entertainment so easily available, we must accept two things.
- Not everyone wants romance anymore. Or at least, not while they’re young enough to be promiscuous.
- The youth that still wants romance must accept it through a new fashion.
Though the promiscuity strays away from my ideas of how romance should progress, it is what it is. There’s no control or reason to it other than the immediate pleasure it has to offer. Yet, we shouldn’t forget, there is control and reasoning in terms of lovemaking.
The way I see it, why not use porn as a tool to show our lovers what we want out of sex? Likewise, we should encourage them to do the same.
If porn was looked at in this regard, rather than the dirty, shunned off entity society makes it be, then maybe we can all progress in our sex lives. My knowledge of this philosophy is only based on first-hand experience. But for the matter, porn has only made my relationship with my girlfriend stronger.
There’s this idea that it can distance two people in love with one another. And though this may be true for certain individuals who don’t know how to properly control themselves, for the most part, I beg to differ.
Porn is a tool. It reveals a side of sex that has been hidden for years. It teaches us all the different ways in which we can experience pleasure. It shows us that there is more to it than just shoving a penis in a vagina.
The point of this blog is to open up new ideas. To get rid of the negativity that has been attached to the adult industry and show how the people creating the content could inevitably be our teachers. I’m sure I’m not the only one to have written about porn in this regard.
Yet, I can’t help but stress that it’s important for us as a society to look at pornography with a new perspective. The reason being that it’s never going to go away, every person will become aware of it at some time or another, and, as time progresses, more and more are going to watch it. If we don’t start watching it with intelligence, it will continue to be that compulsive desire we are so ashamed of.
Artwork by Heath Scholl